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A few rows ahead of me, a group of women are drinking champagne through straws. And then they drive off in separate directions.

A baby shower is in progress at the nail parlor. Except for the guest of honor, everyone is drinking wine, lots of it.

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It seems important to her that the mom-to-be drink with. I catch myself nodding. You, I think.

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Why would anyone want to soften the edges of this glorious reality?

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At the waxing salon, a cut-glass decanter of tequila is at the ready for first-time Brazilian customers, which — okay, you know what, that tequila was actually pretty helpful back in the day, and far be it from me to deprive other first-timers. But knives and Lonely japanese girls Frederick, yoga and booze, 13 mile Heald Green from and booze?

Puppy ballet class? Not really a thing, but someone should get on it.