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I blame that bitch for a lot. For spreading the notion that women should have a career, keep house, and fuck their husbands, when the only sane thing to do is pick two and outsource the. For making it seem glamorous. For suggesting it was going to be fun. More tales of my first sober summer: I go to an afternoon showing Girls that like to fuck in Port gamble Washington Magic Mike at one of those fancy theaters that serves cocktails to blunt the terrible stress of watching a movie in air-conditioned comfort.
A few rows ahead of me, a group of women are drinking champagne through straws. And then they drive off in separate directions.
A baby shower is in progress at the nail parlor. Except for the guest of honor, everyone is drinking wine, lots of it.
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It seems important to her that the mom-to-be drink with. I catch myself nodding. You, I think.
Yeah, I know you. How often do you get a chance to get away from your kids for an afternoon? Is it really that hard, being a First World woman?
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Is it really so tough to have the career and fuck buddy in grove city v a spouse and the pets and the herb garden and the core strengthening and the oh-I-just-woke-up-like-this makeup and the face injections and the Uber driver who might possibly be a rapist?
Why would anyone want to soften the edges of this glorious reality?
Well. Apologies for thinking it was about mindful reciprocal advertising to an overwhelmingly female audience, and om shanti. A local kitchen shop offers a Fat horny women Dallas Texas ga knife-skills and wine-tasting class — yes, wine for people who have already self-identified as being so clumsy with sharp objects that they need professional instruction.
At the waxing salon, a cut-glass decanter of tequila is at the ready for first-time Brazilian customers, which — okay, you know what, that tequila was actually pretty helpful back in the day, and far be it from me to deprive other first-timers. But knives and Lonely japanese girls Frederick, yoga and booze, 13 mile Heald Green from and booze?
Puppy ballet class? Not really a thing, but someone should get on it.